How to See Clearly

Day 29

How To See Clearly

 

What we see of human beings on the outside is rarely the full picture. We see behaviours, hear words and observe actions, but each of us live inside a personal history and psyche full of doubts, fears, assumptions and emotional habits all fuelling our visible behaviours, but rarely visible to ourselves, let alone those around us.

There is always more to every story than the book jacket ever reveals. The whole story of every human being is always larger, longer, harder and more beautiful than any of us ever realise.

So when Jesus, on this mountainside, challenges us against making summative assessments about one another, He calls us to start from the right place- facing our own inner darkness, or as Richard Rohr puts it…

“Take the log out of your own eye” means “own your own shadow”’*

What we find most difficult about human beings is very often the ways that some of their behaviours trigger our own shadows and unresolved issues, touching the lines in our own story where our past pains linger; lines we work hard at pretending aren’t there.

It’s far easier to dismiss annoying behaviours of others by labelling, summing up and judging them than it is to engage vulnerably and authentically with our own inner world and acknowledge that there may be two sides to the story in how we feel.

Judging others is very often a distancing mechanism. A means of controlling by withdrawing.

“judgement is very often a means of control, not a means of looking for the truth. Its a means of securing the self or undoing other people by categorising them. Sometimes we hate and condemn ourselves in the same way. That type of judgement is not of God. Judging a person to be morally superior or morally inferior, right or wrong, good or bad, seldom leads to deeper insight or compassion. It’s another way of eating the tree of knowledge of good and evil and gaining a false sense of security or moral high ground.” Richard Rohr

Categorising, labelling and judging is an unhealthy way we deal with difficult behaviours in other people. It is writing a person off rather than doing the hard work of engaging with them, and therefore is a lazy way to deal with what we find difficult about human beings.

Jesus has already taught us to stand our ground in the face of difficult behaviours and to draw close rather than withdraw…

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.’ Matthew 5:23-24

‘But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.  Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.’ Matthew 5:39-45

If someone is to slap you on the cheek, you need to be close enough for them to reach you. Judging is a distancing mechanism. Jesus calls us to draw close.

People don’t grow in a vacuum. Part of ‘let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven’ (Matthew 5:16) is shining light into the most difficult relationships we have with people. Not backing off. But extending illuminating love, truth and hospitality even when it is challenging to do so.

Jesus’ challenge for us all is: Don’t take the easy road. Summing people up is lazy. Don’t judge without understanding ourselves or them more deeply. Listen deeply. Listen bravely to the patterns in our own habits and ways of thinking and ask if these patterns of thought and action are in line with Jesus’ teaching. Listen deeply to the world of the people we find we might be quick to judge… listen long enough to be able to understand, empathise and find mercy. Because ‘blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy!’ (Mathew 5:7)

Jesus calls us to look into our own heart first, bravely and honestly and let what we discover there fuel our own deep personal growth and even deeper empathy for those around us. Then, and only then will we begin to be clear-sighted, without logs or specks to blind us.

There is always more to every story than the book jacket ever reveals. The whole story of every human being is always larger, longer, harder and more beautiful than any of us ever realise.

Let’s do the work to see each other through the eyes of Jesus. Extravagant generosity. Brimming-over-kindness. Amazing grace.

 

 

 

Journaling the Journey

Think of people in the last month who you have thought or talked about with frustration. List very specifically the things about their behaviour that frustrate you.

Search your heart. Are there any elements of these behaviours that are also evident in your own life?

What do you need to repent of?

 

Today’s Mountainside photograph was taken from Sugar Loaf Mountain, Wales, UK

 

References

Richard Rohr, ‘Jesus’ Plan For A New World; The Sermon on the Mount’, ST Anthony Messenger Press